-

Psychopath Test Flags Milk-First Cereal Pourers
Authorities say the practice remains legal, though officials are urging the public to remain alert.
-

Blackout, Hydro’s Bright Idea
Hydroelectric Company’s Halloween “Surprise” Leaves Town in Chaos In what officials described as “an ambitious community event,” the Quebec Hydro Authority shut off power…
-

Boeing Airlines: Crash Guaranteed or Your Money Back
In an audacious twist on air travel, Boeing Airlines has launched a ‘Controlled Crash Experience,’ inviting thrill-seekers to enjoy the unique sensation of surviving…
-

Man Forgets Idea That Would Have Saved Humanity
The breakthrough reportedly vanished moments after its inventor checked his phone.
-

Fed-Up Genie Clarifies: You Can’t Wish for More Wishes
After millennia of confusion, Azrak went on national television to settle the matter once and for all.
-

Humanity officially out of jokes
International officials confirmed Thursday that the final original joke has already been told.
-

Slaf Proudly Releases Book “One Hand, Full Confidence”
The Canadiens forward has turned his distinctive technique into a practical guide for aspiring players.
-

New Shock Device Has Hockey Fans Buzzing
The new technology promises to bring fans closer to the action than many had requested.
-

Human Searching for Pizza Place in L.A. Instantly Crashes Entire AI Traffic System
Los Angeles ground to a complete halt Tuesday after a single unassisted human—identified only as “Bob, 47, hungry”—attempted to find a pizza place on…
-

Fountain of Youth Discovered in Teenagers’ Urine
Researchers say the discovery could transform longevity science, despite several obvious obstacles.
-

Helium Secures Top Spot After Intense Lobbying Campaign
GENEVA — In a historic reshuffling that’s rocked the chemical community, the International Periodic Table Rankings Association (IPTRA) announced Monday that helium has officially…
-

God Turns to AI: “I Know Everything, Just Not All at Once”
Heaven has quietly integrated artificial intelligence into divine operations, with God Himself acknowledging its usefulness. “Of course I know everything,” He said. “But sometimes,…
-

PETAV: “Vegetables Have Rights Too!”
In a move nobody asked for, the newest radical advocacy group, PETAV (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals and Vegetables), stormed the dietary…